Disclaimer: This blog entry is a little more transparent than usual. Proceed with that in mind. 
I used to love rollercoasters. For several years while living in Indiana, the highlight of the summer was a trip or two to Cedar Point. I absolutely loved everything about it. The 3 hour drive there, pulling in to the parking lot, the excitement as we walked through the gate, and then the rush to get to our favorite ride. It was there we saw the sign saying “60-90 minute wait from this point”. And then more fun….waiting, people watching, drinking a diet coke, all while slowly working our way through the line.
The best part was when you finally made it to the top of the never ending stairs and you then stood like cattle in little tiny lines, just to wait for the “right” seat. Sometimes it was the first seat, sometimes the last seat, and if you want to play it safe, you went for a middle seat. I usually made my way to the back, took my seat, felt the massive harness click in place, and then… wow. Adrenaline rush. We were chugging away from the station…tentative screams beginning. Slowly we went up the hill that seemed to reach to the clouds. I loved the view from there. You could see Lake Erie, the park, beautiful trees…..WHAM! We were suddenly flying down a hill at a 90 degree angle, and my stomach was in my throat. The rest of the ride was total chaos of screaming, and laughing till you cried.
That was then. I haven’t been on a roller coaster in quite a while. Not because I don’t want to …I just haven’t had the opportunity. As of late, I have been on a roller coaster of a different kind though. I call it the Emotional Magnum (in honor of my old favorite ride). :-) I have to say, that this one is not near as fun. I feel like I just ran through the gate, found our ride, and just saw the sign saying “WAIT….from this point”. No time limit. It just says WAIT.
So, I am very slowly making my way through the line. It seems each day I look and see someone else waiting in the same line. Every now and then I get a glimpse of someone who is cheering and screaming as they just got off the ride. Soon I will climb the steps, with the hand of my husband and the tiny hand of my youngest daughter, and we will choose our seat, feel that harness click in place, and then we will be off for the ride of our life.
I have decided that along the way, I will show Charlie the beautiful blue skies, we will look at the lakes, and the trees, we will scream and laugh until we cry. Her daddy will take her fishing this summer. She will hold on tight to the chains of a swing and giggle as we push her higher. She will dump water on her sister’s sand castles. She will go swimming in the heat of the Alabama summer. She will curl up on my lap after a long day, and drift off to sleep. She will snuggle close to her Daddy’s chest as he carries her to her bed.
Am I in denial? No, I am in acceptance. I accept the love of our Heavenly Father. I accept the Truth of His Word that says He will never leave us. I accept His gift of healing. I accept the promise of Nahum 1:7 “The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him”.
Although today, I may have butterflies on this here ride called the Emotional Magnum, I am hanging on for dear life, ready to burst forth with laughter and squeals of delight. Because that’s what you do on rollercoasters, isn’t it?
This was beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful! Am praying for Charlie and all the family.
Your writing is inspiring! I thank God for you!