A Heart That is Full

I heard her cry before I saw her face. Then the smile she gave erased my
nervousness, and love took up residence in my heart. So tiny and frail, but
what a grip her little arms had around my neck as I carried her through the
door to meet her Daddy. More instantanious love. The kind that just
cements itself in your every fiber. Forever imprinted on our minds…the first
day we met our sweet Dakota.

Six weeks later, wrapped tightly in a pink blanket, softly breathing,
sleeping so peacfully, I didn’t want to wake her. Gently lifting a little one
from a hospital nursery crib to my arms, and the fit was just right. She
snuggled closer, she was home. These arms would comfort. Her Daddy’s
arms would hold her close for months to come every night to help ease
tummy pains. And Daddy would walk and hold and pray and sing. She was
home. Our middle child, precious Addison.

Seven months later, a quiet afternoon. Stillness as the babies sleep, my
heart is racing as I fold the blanket. Again. The bassinet is waiting, new
bottles are on the counter. A knock on the door, and my husband opens it
to welcome the tiniest bundle. Dressed in pink, dark hair like silk, he
carries her to me, and I feel my heart expand. I didn’t know such love could
be held in a human heart, but the feeling that it will burst lets me know. I
whisper in her little ear….”Mommy loves you, baby girl”. You sigh….I cry.
So this is what blessed feels like. Our first day with our littlest one, sweet
Charlie Grace.

Three years since the journey began. It seems like yesterday. Paths we
did not foresee have led to Children’s Hospital stays, doctors, a port,
chemo, questions, prayers, frustrations, miracles, laughter, courage, and
hope. Most days are filled with silliness, messes, toothpaste fights,
cuddles, singing, crocodile tears, sticky fingers, sweet kisses, cartwheels,
sand pasta, drama, bedtime prayers and hugs. Lots of hugs.

It will not always be that my hands will be physically full of this bundle of happy.   

Thankful that my heart will forever be full. Love stays.

The Great Author continues to write the story of this Mommy.  This Daddy. This Family. Sometimes I wish I could see the chapters ahead, but alas, that cannot be. So for today, I remember the moments, live crazily, enjoy the silly, cherish the peace, and smile with a heart that is thankful…. and is forever full.

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